An Antiquated Mating Ritual
by XoLove47
Summary: LBD-verse: "I will not, under any circumstances, be having that cheesy, antiquated mating ritual at my wedding. End of discussion." Or is it? Lizzie and Mrs. Bennet butt heads over wedding plans. Futurefic.


**Author's Note: Just a little bit of humorous fluff to brighten our LBD-less day. Hope you have a much fun reading it as I did writing it :) **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, so don't sue me (you wouldn't get much anyway!)**

"No."

"But, Lizzie, it's tradition. You simply have to."

Lizzie sighed. She was sitting at the dining room table in her family home with her mother and perfect older sister, Jane. Surrounding them were stacks of bridal magazines, binders of every color, swatches of fabric, floral samples—basically Lizzie was stuck in her own personal wedding hell.

Exasperated, Lizzie said, "Sorry, Mom. No bouquet toss—it's such a cliché."

Mrs. Bennet responded in her southern drawl, "Lizzie, I will not take no for answer. Think of your sister Lydia. She hasn't had a serious boyfriend since she broke up with that lovely George Wickham fellow. Would you really deny her—"

At the mention of Wickham, Lizzie tensed up for a moment before exploding, "Mom! Listen to me—I will not say this again. I will not, under any circumstances, be having that cheesy, antiquated mating ritual at my wedding. End of discussion."

Mrs. Bennet gaped at her daughter and then started sputtering, "But, but, Lizzie—"

Jane put her hand on mother's arm and said, "Mom, stop. This is Lizzie's wedding and her decision."

Mrs. Bennet can't help herself and said, "But Jane, think of what people will say and—"

Lizzie scoffed, "I give up. This is ridiculous and I'm going home."

* * *

"…And then, she just kept going on and on about the stupid bouquet toss—that it was tradition, that we had to have it at our wedding or the neighbors would talk. Oh and here's the kicker, I had to do it for Lydia so she could meet a man since she hasn't dated anyone since that 'lovely George Wickham.' Can you believe her?"

Lizzie was animatedly recounting the day's events to Darcy, as she got ready for bed in their LA penthouse. Darcy was sitting on their bed with his laptop perched on his lap.

Darcy was pensive for a moment before responding, "Well. I don't know. Your mother does raise several valid points. It is traditional and—"

Lizzie stopped what she was doing, turned to Darcy and said, "William Darcy, you are not seriously taking my mother's side on this, are you?"

Backtracking a little, Darcy said, "Well, obviously the part about finding Lydia a husband is absurd, but the idea itself isn't that bad. Plus, it would have the added benefit of placating her."

Lizzie looked at Darcy incredulously, "I have been doing nothing but placating her with this wedding. I already caved on the venue, the guest list, hell—even the color scheme. I have to draw the line somewhere."

Darcy got up from the bed and crossed the remaining distance between him and Lizzie, "Sweetheart, you know I'll do whatever you want. If it would make you happy, I would elope with you tomorrow. But I know you want your family there—and unfortunately, that means you get the craziness too. Besides, we met at the Gibson wedding during this so-called 'antiquated mating ritual.' Would it really be that bad to have it at our wedding, especially if it's that important to her?"

Lizzie fought back a smile at this and said, "Will, are you really trying to romanticize the most awkward dance of all-time?"

Darcy responded, "Awkward as it was, that dance was when I started to fall in love with you. I just didn't know it at the time."

At this, Lizzie threw her hands up into the air and exclaimed, "Gah! How can I say no to you when you are so utterly perfect? Fine, we can do the bouquet toss. But you have to tell my mother."

Darcy blanched a little at this, but nodded his head. A moment later, he said, "Good. Now that that is settled, we can move on to more important matters."

Lizzie looked at him, puzzled, "Yeah? Like what?"

Darcy pulled her down to the bed with him and smirked, "Practicing for the honeymoon."

* * *

"You look beautiful, you know. Did I tell you that yet?" Darcy asked as he and his bride spun around the dance floor at their wedding reception.

The new Mrs. Darcy blushed and said, "Only like half a dozen times."

He just laughed, as he bent down to kiss her lightly on the lips, "Well, you do. I can't tell you how happy I am. Incandescently so. I love you so much, Mrs. Darcy."

Lizzie beamed at him and responded, "I love you too, Will, so much. I can't believe how far we've come since that first dance."

Darcy was about to say something else when the song they had been dancing to ended and the DJ came up to the microphone and said, "It's that time of night everyone. Would all the single ladies come on to the dance floor? The bride is going to toss the bouquet."

On cue, Beyonce's "Single Ladies" started to play and Lizzie cringed. But, she dutifully marched up to the front of the dance floor anyway, as all of her unattached female guests, including Caroline, Charlotte, Lydia and Gigi, lined up behind her. The DJ counted to three and Lizzie tossed her bouquet over her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw that Caroline was holding the flower over her head victoriously.

After the commotion died down and Mrs. Bennet had stopped exclaiming, "That should have been my Lydia," it was time for the garter toss. Lizzie was sitting in a chair had been brought to the center of the dance floor and Darcy knelt primly before her. To everyone else, Darcy looked extremely uncomfortable, but Lizzie caught the mischievous glint in his eye as his hand crept up her thigh and suppressed a giggle.

A random assortment of eligible bachelors fell in behind Darcy as he flicked the lacy, pale blue garter over his shoulder and into the crowd. Much to everyone's surprise, the garment landed in the hands of none other than Mr. Ricky Collins.

The DJ announced, "Well, it looks like we have our couple. Would Ms. Caroline Lee join Mr. Collins on the dance floor for the traditional dance?"

Not seeing a way out, Caroline stomped over to Mr. Collins and primly took his hand. The two looked awkward and stiff as they took to the dance floor, as the rest of the guests looked on. Soon they took pity on them and joined them in the dance.

As the newlyweds swayed to the music, Lizzie couldn't help but stare at Caroline and Mr. Collins. He was clearly droning on about something (probably web videos) and she looked like she wanted to run away screaming. She couldn't help but laugh.

Her husband asked, "What's so funny?"

And Lizzie answered, "Those two. I think they have us beat as the most awkward dance partners ever." She paused and a wicked smile lit up her face, "Maybe it isn't such a stupid tradition after all."

**The End**

**Author's Note: So what did you think? My last attempt at LBD fanfiction got crickets—hopefully I get a better response this time around :) If you liked it (or even if you didn't), tell me by clicking that button below and leaving me a review!**


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